My body is changing, and I don't like it. When I was fat, at least it was "firm." Obviously not tone, but my skin my taut. Now my stomach looks like it's caving in on itself. The body is receding too fast for the skin to handle. I'm a ripple of tiny ridges of skin. I like what this stands for, but it's a horrible in between stage. Maybe it's just another sign that I might never be satisfied. Or maybe I just need to get my ass to the gym and do more situps.

A small confession: my goal was always 125. I thought that I might even stop before I got there, depending. But now, seeing my shape now, I feel I might have to lose more. What should be a logical adjustment of goals is terrifying. If I go below 125, am I going to far? Am I kidding myself that this is possible? When I started this in February, I didn't put any expectations on myself. Sure, I wanted to lose weight, but 125 was too far away to think about--66 pounds away. Now, 125 is reachable. Hell, it's almost here, unless I revert entirely to my old habits.

I am happiest when I have a project. I don't know how to relax. I threw myself into this project completely, and when it's over, what do I do then?