Monday, February 25, 2008

Tilda Swinton is an alien

I've been watching the Oscars since 1993, since I was 10 years old. (In case you were curious, I was rooting for Ralph Fiennes to win best supporting actor that year.) And every year, I eat a ton. I felt so antsy all night, not eating. It didn't help that it was boring as hell this year, although I do love Daniel Day-Lewis. I do eat out of stress sometimes, but most of the time, it's out of boredom. I'm watching a movie, why don't I have some pretzels. It's Thursday, why don't I bake some banana bread. There's a What Not to Wear marathon on TV, why don't I get a pint of ice cream. Something to do while I'm doing something else, you know?

I suppose I could have enjoyed myself and eaten whatever I wanted; Oscars only come once a year and such. I just still feel so fragile. I don't have enough trust in myself built up to carry me through the times when I just go off the wall. Which is bound to happen, because it's not like I'm never going to have ice cream again. I'm not a robot.

I'm very bad at turning off. If I'm not doing two things at once, I feel unproductive. I should lock my damn refrigerator and pick up a feather duster.

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