I don't feel proud of myself when I think about how much weight I've lost. So why do I feel so disappointed when I don't lose any in the course of a week or two? How backwards is that? And really, how long is a week when compared to 6 months of hard work?

I've lost three pounds in three days (making up for lost time, I suppose) and I'm now holding steady at -34. Finally in the 150's! A milestone I would have done backflips for a year ago, and now I'm still thinking "too big, too big." Maybe satisfaction isn't even an option at this point. I want to stop calling myself as fat, I want to feel that others don't look at me and think fat. Don't know when that might be. What will have to happen before I realize that I look good?

I know I don't like my body, but what if I just don't like myself, period? It's all pointing in that direction, anyway. Or maybe I just expected a bigger change in myself after losing so much--and that was expecting too much. Losing 34 pounds is great, but when you want to lose 30 more, maybe you're really only halfway there.